The beginning of something, such as an undertaking; a commencement.
1. The point at which something comes into existence or from which it derives or is derived.
2. Ancestry: “We cannot escape our origins, however hard we try”(James Baldwin).
3. The fact of originating; rise or derivation: The rumor had its origin in an impulsive remark.
4. Anatomy The point of attachment of a muscle that remains relatively fixed during contraction.
5. Mathematics The point of intersection of coordinate axes, as in the Cartesian coordinate system.
Christopher Nolan’s Inception demonstrates the art of SFX and the use of artistic interpretations of how dreams are used to explore the depth of humanity, how we as humans protect our darkest secrets within our own mind, locking it away deep enough that only when our conscious mind is dormant that our unconscious mind is awakened with our history. Within this motion picture we’re able to interpret and distinguish how we can display dreams through different types of media.
I thought looking at the work of incomparable Cinematographer’s in more depth would help better my own skills and teach me things that i could illuminate from their own style or technique into my short film.
Wally Pfister’s cinematography
I feel Wally Pfister Excels in creating culminating all inclusive shots here is a scene from Christopher Nolan’s Inception were we see an untainted wide shot staring the main character Leonardo DiCaprio, in this scene Pfister composes and perfectly executes a shot were the audience are pushed back awaiting something commodious. It also makes us feel apart of the scene i feel that it cannot be ignored the simplicity of this scene in particular makes the biggest difference in the world of dreams and reality.
Here is a shot from “The Prestige” this is another image scene constructed by Pfister another wide shot that is more than inviting to its audience, the image includes and also enhances the dark colors through the light of the lamp placed in various places around the buildings, i feel its important to capture the rawness of that time and era to successfully convince your audience. In regards to linking this back to my project i would attempt to use similar shots.
This has proved to be one of my favorite shots i like the way the light is has consumed the actress and how she has become the only thing that matters in this scene i feel he uses a technique that allows the audience to stand still and think of the thoughts of the character.
Janusz Kaminski –
In contrast to Pfisters mid-wide shot this is an example of a long shot it tends to be used in situations that become hectic like in this scene we see the actor looking distressed and confused almost looking around his surroundings or for someone that might have been killed in combat this type of shot helps the audience to analyze whats going, looking at these cinematographers allows me to step out of my mindset and into theirs it allows me to begin to understand why they used that specific shot at that time.
Example.
Here is another long shot from the film Cleopatra 1963
Close up shot – I feel close up shots bring out the expression of the characters face, they normally are used in tense situations for instance in this scene we see the character aiming through his sniper scope to take out a enemy hiding in a bell tower we see they’re also to bring out rawness of the movie, the dirt on the man’s face, the concentration needed to take up such an important task.
Benoit Debie’s Cinematography
I admire Benoit Debie’s wide shots his talent to create a soft distinct atmosphere fascinates me this low angle wide shot almost makes us feel like we’re sitting behind the characters admiring the view,the capture of the essence of the the sun never fails induce me. i will attempt to use a similar shot either within my film or photography capturing the main subject while capturing a calming atmosphere.
Here is another shot that’s similar to the shot above again Debie’s use of using natural like turns out to be effective we the audience can look behind the characters and admire the ocean that surrounds them, it gives off a heart warming atmosphere.
I like the way Debie’s complements his surroundings with the use of the water it is used to advantage because he is gifted with a reflection of beautiful colors, its a memorizing shot that tends to make the audience sit back and take in the view.
Xiaoding Zhao
Xiaoding Zhao is hands down one of my favorite Cinematographers of all time i like how he’s positioned the characters around the grave without missing out on their emotional state throughout this scene the girls are mourning the loss of their priest and we can see that through the body language of each character is damaged. Its a compacted shot i feel this type of angle allows the viewer to emotionally and physically apart of the scene.
I feel in this shot in the midst of all the destruction surrounding her she still able to stand strong in this shot, the low angle empowers the character also capturing the devastation all in one.
This long shot is one of my favorite shots in the film i like the way the shot contains and complements the view and peacefulness of the church also how through all this destruction the church has remained untouched but we also have to endure the devastation we see around of whats left of the city.
From the research i gathered from the cinematographers from inception, 12 monkeys, Enter The Void, Saving Private Ryan and flowers of war gave me inside knowledge of a technique used to master the style of capturing the type of shots that I’ll attempt to use within these projects. This allowed me to think of my own ideas based on one of my pathways, i went out and shot a sequence of the main character walking. the shots vary as the storyline ain’t simple it gives the viewers time to think and recollect what they just witnessed allowing them to justify their own moral of the story.
Someone i asked to view my film asked me “Whats it About” i responded in the simplest way i could saying “Its whatever you want it to be as like a dream”
I used my own canon 500d, editing it using Final Cut Pro, Adobe Premier Pro CS6 and Adobe After Effects CS6.
Location –
St George’s Park
The reason i chose this area of the graveyard was because it fit the description of the graveyard in my script
Entrance of the graveyard, the character walks from these gates to enter the graveyard
The bench she passes on the path that takes her to the grave
A wide shot that shows the whole area of the graveyard
Here is video that i recorded showing the start and end point of her journey.
This image shows a scene from my short film, this particular scene shows the actress walking in a reversed state of mind (Moving backwards) Instead of forwards which she thinks she’s moving. I think stopping and thinking deeply about where and how the film relates to a dream. In my experience of dreaming I’ve felt or thought i was moving forwards where actually i was moving backwards. That’s where the initial idea came from but as it develop i asked myself how i could make this into something that could benefit me in a positive way. In the end it took me a couple times to perfect the shots. doing in depth research of different movies that share similarities and also differences that i could incorporate into my dream piece.
While editing my sequence i tried to give off a ghostly effect, trying to put my actress in two places at once. Making my piece more appealing to my target of trying to interpret dreams into a film piece, while also effectively being able to control the story.
Using the cross fade tool i was able to achieve my idea
2.
Initial idea – From reading a book named “The Alchemist” which is based on life and peace. I felt i could use effectively to incorporate it into a dream sequence. it opened my mind to explore new things using Adobe after effects using short film clips, that could was provided for us.
After recording my ideas on my video diary i came across a short story written by a young talented writer that goes by the name of Papa Llama it helped me with building my own story his story called “Time” allowed me to think along the lines of re-creating something similar in terms of giving off a peaceful vibe when viewed. I felt like exploring the aspect of recurring dreams or in this case a recurring image or clip that keeps resurfacing when slowly faded away. While reading The Alchemist i was inspired by the explanation of destiny and how the main character Santiago has recurring dream that leads him on the road to self explanatory while following his dream. Also watching this clip from the movie Enter The Void.
SAMPLE –
Feedback – Maybe change color to black and white for it to add effect, cut some clips out to shorten the piece, overall i really like it.
Feedback – story is hard to understand, with more character background story it will make more sense, overall its good i like the camera angles, also cut some scenes shorter and change it all to black and white it might empower some of the shots
Color Correction
Here i used the color correction tool to change the color of the film i found it quite easy it being my first time after studying the use and learning about the importance of light.
When recording the voice overs for my final film project i encountered some problems, while recording i hadn’t realized that a beeping sound was also being recorded with the voice over and while editing using logic pro i was quite confused on how to deal with the issue at hand. I asked a student to give me feedback on the effect he told that the sound i couldn’t recognize was “feedback”? Then i also consulted with mark our tutor on the matter and he told me to go back to the place where i had recorded the voice over and listen for any unusual sound, once i returned to the place i heard the weird beeping sound and started to re-record my voice over in a smaller area space listening out for any unusual and unwanted sounds.
Watching “Enter The Void” gradually helped with the development on one of my experiments as it shared a similar theme, the use of eyes, in this case my project used the eyes as a symbol of a recurring dream, considering the use of eyes in the film is seen as the persons point of view it being the only point of entry to the viewers. i feel that both screenplay writers Gaspar Noe and Lucile Hadzihalilovic shared a hard task in writing the mixed use of camera angles between switching scenes and replaying flashbacks on top of one another
A screenshot from Adobe After Effects
“The Human Eye”
The name of my project specifically named that because it becomes the main focus and the recurring clip that finds a way to resurface at different times in the sequence, i found it reassuring that i was able to link it to having a recurring dream.
It starts off big and bold, dead center of the screen unable to miss, unable to forget.
Using the opacity tool i was able to fade out the last few seconds of the clip so i could link the next clip without destroying or disrupting the chain of events that would take place.
Here are some experimental shots i took
Here is an example of the use of the effect, lowering the opacity to a certain percent allows me to show the image that lays behind the one in front.
The aim of this project was to carefully construct a sequence that was based on life, a recurring dream that may have a significant meaning. The possibilities are endless while creating dream sequences it has allowed me to perfect my skills on adobe after effects. Transforming and cross fading a new world through the movement of traffic and the natural world
Project 3 –
Tutorial – In this video i plan to explain and explore the advantages of masking within adobe after effects and successfully mask a different background into a still image. At first i found it difficult understanding the concept and skills acquired of masking but after going through it with a fellow student things became more clearer and i was able to come out with this.
Zav – You need sound to paper the cracks and also the video needs to be more fluent.
Ervin – You need to adjust the transitional effects and make the ending more climatic.
Pathway 2
This is the first image taken in photography’s history it was named ‘The view from the window at Le Gras’. It was taken in 1826, by French inventor Joseph Nicéphore Niépce. It was noted down that it took up to 8 hours of sunlight exposure, also the main reason why it illuminates on both sides of the building. To make this 20 x 25 cm oil treated photograph Niepce needed a polished plate cover with a petroleum, bitumen of Judea.
In 1838 Louis Daguerre captured this shot of a street that was well known to be a busy street and the reason for it looking so peaceful was because the exposure time took up to 10minutes and the reason we see a man in the picture was because he had his shoes polished and he was lucky enough to be captured.
Composition – The Rules Of Third
When composing images as a photographer or filmmaker you have to image the image being cut into equal 9 sectors 2 horizontal and 2 Vertical lines the rules states to place the most important parts of the subject or scene along the lines by using this composition technique it becomes easier to add balance to the photograph.
Viewpoint
Images can be taken from different angles when their not taken on eye level their known as low view angle they vary depending on the scene or photograph is about or what it represents, also the position of the subject.
Depth
Photographs appear in a two dimensional form when composing a image with depth we tend to carefully choose the position of the image, positioning the image along the horizontal and vertical lines i read in a book about photography that the human eye recognizes the layers and separates them creating the depth in the image.
Angles
BIRD EYE VIEW-Is usually used in films and photographs to make the character appear small or belittled also look not significant.-HIGH VIEW-Not at the same height as the bird eye view, but is still used to overlook subjects.-NEUTRAL VIEW-Can be intimate, eye level, when shooting a smaller object, also depends on the distance between the camera and this object.-LOW VIEW-
Low angles give off confused vibes, also it might represent no power within the scene. This angle ads height to the object, may inspire fear in the audience, who is psychologically dominated by the figure on the screen. It also gives the character more depth, power and status
-WORM’S EYE VIEW-
Gives an unnatural view of the object, For example, if taking a photograph of a person, she or he might appear strong, and proportionally different, with longer legs and smaller head. also if taking a photograph of an animal and you want it to present it with power this type of angle will be used.
“Hellen van Meene is a Dutch Photographer She creates mostly portraits of adolescent girls/women. In 2005 the American magazine placed Village Voiceher book Portraits in the top 25 best books of 2005, and in 2007 she finished in fourth place at the annual Elsevier Ranking of successful artists.”
We looked at dutch photographer Hellen van Meene so we could build our mind to think like photographers, trying to think along side their understandings, and their embedded connotations, focusing trying to decode an interpretation, as we are all built differently, mind-like our values and ideals are all different so the outcome was to trying to understand the concept and untold story behind the image.
My Opinion: I feel this image holds such significance but in its simplest form a way to expressing ones loneliness, i feel in each photo holds a story, a reason into why each and everything was set up specifically the way it was i feel it was no mistake that the sofa ended up in the middle of which seems to be a living room, the window that has allowed the shine of light to come through the emerald colored carpet placed underneath the sofa.
Again in this image i feel that the girl holds pain in her heart, it seems that she could be hiding or even confronting a problem in her life, as she stares endlessly into the distance. the use of lighting is used to its absolute perfection, the amount darkness almost covers her wholesomely but she still remains pure as light still strikes her face.
Richard Avedon Photography –“Richard Avedon (May 15, 1923 – October 1, 2004) was an American fashion and portrait photographer. An obituary published in The New York Times said that “his fashion and portrait photographs helped define America’s image of style, beauty and culture for the last half-century.””Avedon began working as an advertising photographer for a department store, but was quickly endorsed by Alexey Brodovitch the art director for the fashion magazine Harper’s Bazaar. Lillian Bassman also promoted Avedon’s career at Harper’s. In 1945 his photographs began appearing in Junior Bazaar and, a year later, in Bazaar itself. In 1946, Avedon had set up his own studio and began providing images for magazines including Vogue and Life. He soon became the chief photographer for Harper’s Bazaar. From 1950 he also contributed photographs to Life, Look and Graphis and in 1952 became Staff Editor and photographer for Theatre Arts Magazine. Avedon did not conform to the standard technique of taking studio fashion photographs, where models stood emotionless and seemingly indifferent to the camera. Instead, Avedon showed models full of emotion, smiling, laughing, and, many times, in action in outdoor settings which was revolutionary at the time. However, towards the end of the 1950s he became dissatisfied with daylight photography and open air locations and so turned to studio photography, using strobe lighting.”
Contents
Among his fine photography Avendon went on to capture The famous portfolio of “The American West” showcasing his unforgettable talent and ruthlessness in capturing the raw nature of untold stories.
I admire the use of white background used as it brings out the rawness of their skin tone, the dirt, the contrast between colors the pure essence of their lost eyes. All things that are attributes that make a unforgettable image. Its left an impression on me, one that would allow me to think along the lines of using this type of method to recreate something dream related.
I feel that in this image brings out the soulless emotion that seems to appear on her face, even though she seems to be cradling dollar bills, it leaves a confused impression on the viewer it seems that she’s not satisfied with her current situation in the world and that she is looking to progress. She is not compensated for the the hard work and maybe mischief and misuse that’s been dished out. What really catches my attention is the way she holds tight the money like she’s holding onto her pride and values left at her side. In what i see i can interpret a meaning in what this picture could mean but also try to look into the life of Petra.
The American west is a place of solitude, growth, unexpected expectations of young kids, growing up faster than the average kid growing up in New York City for instance. This images makes me feel almost sympathetic as it seems as a child has lost his childhood, or even his childlike personality that would have allowed him to develop at a slower pace. It seems he’s holding more than just a gun, he’s holding the responsibility and expectations of his family, the survival of his parents may depend on him as he’s been put in the driving seat without seeking guidance. or mentally understanding the weight that’s just been put on his shoulders. the reason I’m able to appeal to this image is because kids at his age of being astronauts, doctors, lawyers. It seems his dreams has been limited, the road he’s been put on was not his decision nor his choice. Without realizing he’s lost the power to follow his dream.
As well composing empowering images Richard Avedon is also known for his eye for fashion and for creating admirable photographs, this image with Dovima posing with two elephants at the circus would be viewed as a ludicrous image, a type of image people could smile at and moon over.
This is one of this more famous portraits, Marilyn Monroe was known as the most stunning woman alive but among other things in this image she feels distant, she ain’t smiling, she doesn’t seem sad but it almost feel’s as like she’s lost in her train of thought and she looks more or less depressed and confused.
I really like the way the image has been captured, we see she’s a well dressed elegant woman that is crossing the road in this image the way the camera has been put at a low angle shows that this woman may be of power and successful.
Pathway Photography Project Development
Project 1
After looking at a series of images, like the one above i thought i could apply the same type of photography in my own way and somehow use the type of imagery to my advantage allowing me to brainstorm a series of ideas. That i developed into a moving sequence using adobe after effects.
I thought the type of effect of a black and white image could leave on an audience compared to the same image in colour is catastrophic, as you can see a black and white image has a more powerful effect, a vintage antic look that allows the person viewing the image to either reminisce on a time where everything was once similar before. Or think about the time the photo was taken and importance of the person within image
Using this image as the base of my idea i built on what else hasn’t been done before, i used a image taken in a park, taking advantage of nature and its beauty. While allowing the idea of using a color half in black and white and color could influence how the end product is perceived.
Look Book
Using after effects and Photoshop i composed a image that allowed me blend that of a dream and of reality, a black and white image slowly transformed into a vibrant piece of color. Using the art of masking i was able to successfully collaborate two worlds for the view to decide which they would want to adapt to.
Here in this image you can see I’ve put the white and black image onto of the colored so when i use the mask tool in the image below you will understand how its relevant holds a lot of importance.
In this part of masking the image i managed to create a rectangle tool so when the film starts it will start from the right side covering the whole side of the image, so when continuously transforming the black to color it will do so in a reasonable manner.
Proeject 2 Ghosting –
In my additional photography class we looked at “French literary theorist, philosopher, linguist, critic, and semiotician” Roland Barthes and Ferdinand da Saussure “Swiss linguist and semioticians whose ideas laid a foundation for many significant developments both in linguistics and semiotics in the 20th century.” We learned about the term Semiology meaning the study behind the meanings embedded in the image showed.
Also Stadium, the realization of the beauty surrounded behind us, materialistic things that hold such elegance and power, we talked about re-opening our eyes to the natural world and be able to think about not only composing a shot but creating a story that hasn’t been told.
Experiments:
The use of turning the camera of TV and controlling the use of fading in.
Here i created a depth of field blurring out the background while keeping in focus the person in front, this type of effect has been used in many images to create such powerful depth in the shot. Not only keeping in focus one part of the image but bringing out the authority in power.
Trying to blur out image B while trying to keep in focus image A its a hard technique that takes a while to perfect, but i feel my progression through photography has improved due to the workshops provided and the endless time practicing those specific shots. It’ll be good in the long run as i feel it could benefit me in a grand way.
Take 1
The first image i tried to compose was the “ghosting effect”
Here is an example of the type of effect i was trying to compose.
This type of effective photography can be used to portray dreams as we see them unclear.
i felt with each shot i had to adjust the aperture
Experiments
Like you have seen from the look book i took up the theme of telling a tale through a persons eyes so i thought i could adapt my film project into an experiment for my photography projects
I took the pleasure in editing the images within Photoshop adjusting and experimenting around with the images seeing if i could create something surreal and dreamlike.
I like how i used enhanced the shadow surrounding the right side of his face while enhancing and almost brightening the color of his eye, i was told it gave off a surreal vibe i asked for feedback and for my piers to comment on the images left in my look book.
Pathway 3
Pathway Short Story/Script Writing Development
Stories i looked at for inspiration.
MARY JO GORTON
I had a dream last night. To dream is nothing new to me, but this dream was so vivid that now, hours later I remember the details clearly. The dream has left me with a feeling of peace and well being. I need to share my dream, to let others experience this wonderful feeling.
The dream began with me standing in a field of knee high emerald green grass. Violet colored flowers speckled the lush field as they swayed in the gentle breeze. Their sweet fragrance mingled with the earthy smell of the grass and the dark brown earth beneath. The smell itself gave me a glorious feeling of contentment and well being. The warmth of the golden sun, as it began to set in the cloudless peach colored sky, seemed to caress my head and shoulders.
I could hear the faint chirping and cooing of birds somewhere off to my left as they got ready for the approaching night. Looking towards the musical sound, I noticed a large oak tree in the otherwise empty field. The tree was massive its mahogany colored trunk knotted and twisted with age. The slender lime-green and yellowish gold colored leaves shook ever so slightly with the movement of the small birds.
As I started moving slowly towards the tree, the birds took flight. These beautiful birds were the color of fresh snow the purest white I had ever seen. I realized they were doves, the birds that represented love and peace. I stopped and looked up into the sky as they slowly circled over my head. Then the doves flew back to the tree and came to rest in the branches once again. Instinctively, they knew I wished them no harm. The musical sound of the doves filled the air as they moved around the branches of the large oak tree. Giving a slight sigh, I smiled with happiness. I stood in the field as the stars started to blanket the ebony sky, until I could no longer see the large oak tree.
When I woke from my dream, I felt an inner peace that was like a warm blanket of love engulfing me. I laid in bed for a long time hardly moving afraid that the feeling would leave me. Knowing that I could not lay in bed all day, I got up and started my everyday tasks. All during the day the dream would come back to me. I realized as the day came to a close that this wonderful feeling was still with me and would be for along time.
OPINION
While reading this short story i imagined the setting of my own story, the use of descriptive vocabulary would certainly appeal to when writing it into a script i found the meaning behind the story very inspiring the inspirational, i thought of the connotations and denotations that allowed me to think more in depth into the story, Allowing me slowly to pick up on small ideas that could blossom into a short story.
Turning a novel into screenplay examples.
Novel Vs ScreenPlay
In my opinion i feel turning a novel into a script is more consolidated rather then turning a screenplay into a novel a screenplay consists of every emotion, every action and every reaction of a character or person related in the film, everything written has to be clear and cut straight to the point where your unable to exaggerate because when filming may be difficult capturing the shots correctly. Also depending on the genre of it, their seen as two different types of creatures from two different worlds but are linked, through the same genetic coding.
“Let’s face it: A novel and a screenplay are two very different creatures. It’s like comparing a housecat with a bobcat—both are cats, but one you want curled up on your lap and the other, not so much.
It can be difficult adapting a novel that runs 300 to 600 (or more) pages. The screenwriter also faces the challenges of meeting the producer’s, studio’s and fan’s expectations. Not to mention the book’s author who can be very protective of his/her work.
Consider the 2005 adaptation of best-selling author Clive Cussler’s novel Sahara. Cussler sued the production company that made Sahara, Crusader Entertainment, in January 2004 seeking $40 million in damages, claiming that the production company breached its contract by failing to give him full final draft script approval. Cussler claimed that Crusader ripped the heart out of the story, later causing the 2005 film to flop.” Written by john Folsom
Researching other peoples opinions proves to play a vital part in doing things successfully, its like not going down the same path without asking someone that’s been down their already. Investigating the positives and exploiting their full potential allowing your work to be at its best.
All films listed proved to be successful when reconstructed into a screenplay, with patience and hard work the transition payed off
Here is part of the script of A Walk To Remember.
Comparing the first three pages from Screenplay and Script.
Both introductions to the same story seem to be similar but to adapt a novel into a screenplay, also means things need to be changed into actual actions, instead of the audience reading it and imagining the story within their mind the concept is to allow them to see what they imagined, it would take a lot of focus and inside knowledge and a clear vision that would be followed and executed from the start
MY STORIES
First Story – Time
The sweet aroma begun to trail and surrounds me to a point where I could not hold back my tears as they trickled down my makeup. His soothing hand rose up my cheek drying my eyes and filled me with a warm fuzzy perimeter around my heart. My toes not once became cold as the words jittered with excitement out of my mouth. For better for worse I said. For richer for poorer I said. In sickness and in health I said. He gave me more than I’ve ever asked for. I, I was just a young, poor Romanian girl from the outskirts of town. Whereas he, he was this tall, dark but not quite handsome much older man who had a vision for me. He knew me for my way of words, not only in Romanian but my English he would say it was as flawless as the lips it left. With deep breathes he would take me into his broad chest and whisper that I am his wife, his lessor, his lover and that an obedient silent wife is a good one.
Every day, every night and every point where I would try to resist from my destiny he would guide me back on track. Through the boarders, through the airport and the air tight boot. He gave me a new home, with other young women with his friend looking after us. He consisted gave me more than I could ever ask for. He told me he had to leave me in my new home for a while whilst he goes back for my family so we intertwines into one last intimate night together. Breathes from deeper to sharp, his broad chest overpowering mine and it was as if it was our wedding night all over. He arched his back as his harden words said whisper that I am his lessor, his lover and that an obedient silent wife is a good one. His soothing presence made this all easier. He told me that what happened that night was something I will always remember.
He never warned me that it was something I could never forget. The sharp breathing is now constantly in my ear. The over powering weight is now constantly upon me fragile heart. The intimacy which once was passionate and meaningful now constantly aggressive, violent and sold for more than a loaf of bread.
Second Story –
Inspired by the book Teacher’s dead by Benjamin Zephaniah and the film Precious directed by Lee Daniels
Forcing the pressure to ram through the fleshes. Not one second did I hesitate when twisting my wrist around. He shriveled. He dropped to the ground as I pulled out of him our kitchen knife. Not dead but he could see death arising through the minutes. His rage deflating as his breathes became shallow.
His groans in the background to my hearing being fixated on my heart beat pumping with the adrenaline rush. My once fear to look him dead in the eyes to be overcome. I lowered myself so I was in my father’s vision. He darkening soul stared right back at me. His words froze. Although my eyes were fixated on him, he had his energy gathered up rapidly one last time to clench his sweaty palm and strike me down.
I switched my eyes open with my blood pressure rising fast. No more than a few seconds it took me to realize that one again the incident that occurred wasn’t reality. My mind felt numb and my lower body felt sore as I lay coldly upon the sheets. My back fixed on the mattress. I could only raise my head up to see a familiar action. There he was. Just pulling up his trouser. Repeating the words he’s tell me daily that it was just our little secret.
Third Story
The perfume that lays on her skin, her lengthy hair that drapes down far past her shoulders and her dark eyes that are both chilling yet warming is all I can fix myself upon. The way that she takes the center stage when she elegantly walks into a full room and empty’s it with her presence. Seen as a princess to other but she is my queen. She tells me stories about her previous life, lies and lust but not even a gust of wind a draw me apart from her. Although nature tried to tear her apart from me.
Clouds fly by, stars would start to die but I will always be by her side. Over the years the beats started to slow down until she could no longer be alive in my arms, fantasy but still in my reality. She laid still every day over the sheets. Now her once red with love now blue without life. I may have loss her heart beating in this life but she lives on in another kingdom.
Final –
I wake up, out of breathe heart pounding, blood racing, head sweating i look towards the alarm that never stops ringing, i hate that bloody alarm. i rip the plug out of its socket. i turn back to the oblivious wall that once showed me my future. those days when i used to forget what i actually cared for. Everything black and soar i rest my head between my palms, wiping the sweat from my forehead. calming myself, telling myself that I’m not going insane. and everything will be okay. Death is not an option this time i tell myself, i won’t go out like a fatherless cub that ends up turning psycho, literary American psycho, American shooter painted on the news that kills high-school piers out of revenge psycho. i manage to take a few breaths without inhaling the ungodly air. part time satanist, theology’s theories i share with my uneducated students. i flip open the laptop and fire it up, take the last cigarette and spark it up. burning my finger in the process. My life is content, a story written on paper that has ink spilled and smudged all over it. My life is a vulnerable mess, a unclean diet that deserves to rot and die, the door slowly whispers my name, i get up and stumble towards the door, i feel the water surrounding my feet i open it quickly, heart beating slowly, but hard it changes pace now, fast but sharp i grab the baseball bat slouched outside my room door, i won at little league, no longer little that bat measures up to the length of my arm. i rest my back up against the turning wall, sweat drips down the side of my ruff cheeks. The grip loosens as my palms start to sweat, lost in own paranoia i start to hallucinate endlessly, i turn running towards the end of the hall as if I’m running off the end of a 50ft cliff, I stop, pause, drop to my knees as i can’t recollect what my own eyes have witnessed. the bathroom door broken in left half open, i start to crawl towards it not being to understand the paradox I’ve been left in. using the bat as a cane I’m able to pick myself up, walking slowly desperately crying out for help i look at the body of my mother, laid across the floor with a bottle of morphine and needles smashed across the bathtub, lines of heroin placed perfectly horizontal untouched, pure white lines i feel the urge to endure, carefully i examine my mothers arms to see the point of entry where she decided to end her course. motherless now i stumble around like a lost cub, trying to figure out the next step in expressing this anxiety, i grab a unopened packet of needles, it stumbling out of my hands i manage to hold onto one, i open the draw and find a spoon, take off the belt that’s placed awkwardly around my waist, aggressively tying it around my bicep biting onto end of the belt, slowly scooping up the white broad lines, placing it on the spoon, using my lighter to awkwardly light it up,watching it sizzle and boil transfixed on its true nature, i use the needle to withdraw the liquid substance, i sit back and rest my neck on the edge of the bathroom tub, sitting next to a dead women that i once saw as my mother. i.. slowly.. start.. to.. forget..
I wake up again in bed, confused, bruised, blood racing, Heart pounding, head sweating with that same noise from that goddamn alarm..
I really like the way the image has been captured, we see she’s a well dressed elegant woman that is crossing the road in this image the way the camera has been put at a low angle shows that this woman may be of power and successful.
Daniel Dorgu's Blog 